My Thanks for Eveyone's Support in this Trying Time

I wanted to briefly thank everyone for their condolences and sympathy with the passing of my father. I have not updated for a long time because I have not felt up to writing about my mother and stepfather's visit, as it seems rather trivial at this time, not to say that it is by any means. I had a premonition shortly after they went home on the 4th of April, and my brother and aunt had a similar premonition at the same time. My father was found dead shortly thereafter in his apartment. After losing his job in December, he went into a deep depression and drinking binge which turned out to be fatal.

My father was born on an U.S. army base in Newfoundland, Canada, on November 13th, 1942, to an Irish immigrant mother who suffered from constant tuberculosis, and a cold professional soldier, a descendant of Austrian immigrants, whom he rarely saw. His upbringing was poor and abused, bouncing around between foster homes and relatives, never being made to feel loved or important. He attended school at San Jose State and UCLA, and was active in his fraternity, Delta Upsilon. He was successful in the real estate development business, until the market collapsed in the late 80's/early 90's, bringing down his business; he never recovered. He was a very well liked, polite man of humor who gave respect and received it in turn. His commitment to physical fitness was complete, and as a man in his mid 60's, he was in better shape than most men in their twenties, a man so physically impressive that he could be quite intimidating. However, underneath the seemingly hyper-masculine exterior, lay a sensitive, affectionate man who loved the arts, especially classical music. He tirelessly drug my brother and I to concerts and museums, trying to broaden us, and was always handing us some article or book to read. It has been hard to accept the fact that his death is beyond myself and has nothing to do with me. He had unhealed scars and demons that he never overcame, until he finally drank the pain away. He always let me know that his love for me and his pride in me was endless, as was his support for me in whatever I did. As saddened as I am about his death, I am happier that his tormented soul has finally found peace. There are those who would say that I should give up alcohol on account of my father's life and death, but in doing so I would only give alcohol the same power over me as it did my father; such reactionary behavior is unhealthy, and the way of moderation is the one to follow in life.

We will be spreading his ashes off of Inspiration Point in Corona del Mar (the picture above was taken by him) once both my brother and myself are able to attend a service upon my return from Germany. It is a place he loved to go to, both alone, with friends, and with his boys, and would be a fitting place for him to rejoin the Earth. Although far from home, I have been doing well, all things considered. The support of my family, our friends, my fraternity brothers, friends at school, and friends here on the program has sustained me; I would be lost without all of you.